TIM KIRSCH

Before I knew the truth...

 

I grew up with a loving family, but did not grow up in the "church". My father's profession caused our family to move around nearly yearly, which certainly influenced my perspective of culture and identity. We would generally always live in very diverse areas, close to large cities. God is wise in where He sends us, even before we know Him (consider Moses). Both my father and mother also had a special gift of discernment as seekers of righteousness, but were not yet walking with God to know true righteousness. This lifestyle without knowing the true God along with a special gift of discernment from my parents set an influence in my life on decision making and training in cultural diversity, but in the sickness of a fallen world.

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That meant that I knew to choose to do right, but didn't know what "right" always was. That also meant a diversity of musical influences, along with seeking truth and love in the wrong places. As a baby, people from varying religions who were spiritually zealous, but not walking with the true God, would come up to me and my mother to "bless" me or give "regards/honor"...etc... because the delusion of the enemy with what they saw caused them to believe me to be things such as an "old soul". My mother was gifted as a sweet and spiritually perceptive woman, but again didn't know the Lord yet. I remember asking her as a young child, "who made God?". Her sincerity to help me led me to seek the answer for myself by reading, which somehow led me what I would generalize as a Psychic book in my ELEMENTARY SCHOOL! If you know Jesus, you know that's not a good thing to have in any library, or as a seed to sow into a seeker! That was the only seemingly relevant book I could find at the time. I also recall a unique sense of faith (not Biblical faith, but as in belief that didn't conform to societal training of reality), such as believing that my friends would be healed if I layed hands and believed... and they did heal (side note: there is "supernatural" power outside of the ways of the true light, and it's good to take heed to this so that you too are not deceived). My grandparents sowed into my character as well, on my mother's side with empowering me into using my gifts (martial arts and music), and with opportunities to be educated with cultural diversity. My father's side set a good example of character as Christians, and as those who used their hands for the arts. I was considered a good kid and role model inside and outside of school, but had my symptoms of the fallen carnal nature in lying, sexual perversion, profane language, selfishness, etc... I was just a little better at keeping it hidden. We all have gifts as humans, whether we know God or not. The enemy of your soul knows this, and wants to rob you of functioning in these gifts with true power by deceiving your minds (thereby sense of self) with lies.

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As I grew older, it became evident that I had a gift in martial arts and music, or perhaps even more so, a gift to pursue what I had passion in. Seeking spiritual truth didn't get highly provoked again until after I had experienced "success" as a local musician. I especially gained experience in playing "large" gigs with very talented musicians in nearly every style of music which later became a great resource for the Kingdom. Later in high school and in college, I was in a long-term relationship with someone in a Christian family, which meant prayers coming my way, and going to a church most Sundays... yet not giving my life to Christ, but rather, "almost" hearing some teaching about the Bible. In the secular music arena, I went from drinking, to drinking more. I studied music business with a religion minor at Carroll College in Waukesha during this time. That was my first time purposing to read some of the Bible... but at a liberal arts school. I, like many, had been trained in the education system to have a liberal mindset of truth being relative to a person's beliefs. In my first semester of college, I was assigned to write a paper on vampires, then in second semester on the movie "The Matrix". After a break up out of that long-term relationship, I gave in to trying marijuana, which I immediately used every day for free. At that same time, I was left with a more clear realization of feeling empty, and began to ask questions again like, "what is truth?", "what is reality?", "what am I here for?", "what's possible here on earth?", and "how do I have a literal relationship with God?". These questions were made aware not only by the light, but also the darkness. Like many who open the door to substance abuse, I was deceived to think that I needed to be under the influence of it in order to have fun, especially while doing music. What I didn't know is that the demonic is aware of how substances can be used to help you yield to them more easily.

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After wondering these important questions, like in my youth, I went to the library. This time, I started with wondering why people do Tai Chi, which led me to Chi Gung, which led me to Feng Shui, which lead me further and further into deception, including but not limited to: various forms of shamanism, "white" witchcraft, use of crystals, tarot, astrology, Buddhism, Hinduism, Kabbala, Sikhism, New Age, channeling, the Secret, chakras, prana, spiritism, reiki, a plethora of paganism, etc... many of which came in the image of the light. I remember reading Deepak Chopra and channeled teachings thinking that it sounded like the things Jesus said... (like the kingdom of God is within) because I had never been rooted in the truth of the Word. The pursuit of spiritual truth far exceeded my studies, music pursuit, or relationships. The tricky thing that happens to people is that it is true that Satan himself can disguise himself as an angel of light (ref: 2 Corinthians 11:14), and that messengers (angels) can share deceptive messages (Galatians 1:8-9, 1 John 4:2-3). I thought experience was truth and a hint of reality, but I did not know that the darkness can pretend to be the light. I would have vivid spiritual experiences, and physical experiences, that would deceive me to think that I was on the right track, so much so, that I started sharing false teachings through my music and online teachings. It is important for a Christian to know that synchronized experiences doesn't mean it's the Spirit of God directing him or her. For example, I found a magazine at Barnes and Noble called "the Sedona Journal", which was a magazine full of articles where human vessels would channel a spirit to teach through them. The first article was written through a man who claimed to channel "Kryon - angel of light", with a message that seemed to come in the image of light and love. Within 24-48 hours, a man from another state found me and added me on myspace (the grandfather of Facebook) who was also a channel for this demon coming as if an angel of light.

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I spent years pursuing truth, consistently having experiences, but studying teachings of devils unknowingly. My pride continued to get puffed up with experiencing an illusion of power and status (such as people of other religions also deceived by darkness seeing me while I'm doing errands, shyly and fearfully examining me, or trying to pay homage). If you aren't familiar, seduction happens by provoking what the carnal nature likes (pride, self-will, sin!)... But God! While on my routine of smoking marijuana daily, I found pop/gospel music written by Spirit-filled believers such as Donnie McClurkin, J Moss, Byron Cage, and Fred Hammond. This music had something lovely and different on it, and for some reason I would sometimes hear them speak a different language! I would take their music to gigs to show other musicians, who likewise appreciated the sound and talent that seemed to supersede the abilities and sounds of secular music. When listening and singing, I would experience a clean and powerful joy, except for sometimes when trying to mix it with harmful substances. This helped me have attention towards Jesus, and the reminder that all of these other spiritual experiences linked to these other teachings never had a pure holy presence, which would confuse me. At one point (about a year before truly coming to God), I tried to get some friends to go to a church service with me by saying there may be girls there... I ended up going alone. God's goodness was unknowingly showed to me there because their Spirit-filled guest speaker spoke on exactly what I needed to hear, that there is counterfeit channeling. Interestingly, I was provoked by them using similar language that I was used to (portals and such), and dancing to the songs that I knew (like the Presence of the Lord is Here), but amidst that genuine praise, I realized how pent up and without that joy I was. To give you an idea of my ignorance, I asked an attendee there if they thought their church would facilitate a guest speaker (I had read from) to channel "Mary". Before leaving, someone told me that the first thing I needed to do was repent, so I went home to look up what repentance was. The internet along with my carnal mind seemed to explain to me that repenting meant to stop being bad, so I ended up figuring that Christians were a certain creation of God that were blessed to be good (versus that God redeems a vessel, comes inside, and produces the fruit of righteousness outwardly). The pastor however had heard that I was interested in playing gospel music, and left me a voicemail to connect with him regarding Jesus (which I never answered back). I actually was deceived to think that they were of darkness, trying to rob me of my sovereignty. If you aren't familiar, many teachings within the demonic soup of New Age generally teach people that they are God (whoever/whatever they call God - which is hardly ever referred to as a person), who forgot they are God, and need to bypass their ego to awaken to the (false) reality that they are God. On the plus side, I heard them speak in tongues at that church, which led me to find out that my father's parents had also spoken in tongues, and which also provoked me to know there was something "supernatural" that I didn't know about Christianity.

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Months later I attended a New Age gathering. While there, they spiritually saw that I seemed to be a vessel through which all of the spiritual mojo/power was being channeled through. It's probably good for me to note that: (1) Yes, it's entirely possible and Biblical to have accurate spiritual encounters when even not yet being in covenant with God. (2) It's entirely possible to have a spiritual experience that is deceptive (I mean literally, not regarding the need to know the interpretation). (3) In order to assuredly discern an experience, you must be born again, so that you have the Spirit of God, the Spirit of truth, to lead you, and even be a vessel for accurate discernment, since a person can otherwise not discern what they see, or literally be pulled along by a deceptive imagery/experience that is void of truth. While at this gathering, I was so defiled, that I thought I had found my spiritual family. I ended up getting taken under the mentorship of a very accurate leader there who was also genuinely deceived at the time, a seeker of truth, a person whom other spiritual teachers, celebrities, and even the makers of "the Matrix" had gone to for receiving counsel. I was believed to be the reincarnation of Osiris (amongst other lies)! 

 

Surrendering to the Truth

 

While at this ending point of deception, I had learned discipline for pursuing spiritual truth, and had also turned away from most of my remaining friends (out of false wisdom, lies of the enemy). By the grace of God, the two of us (caught up in a strong delusion) ended up at a church in Racine WI, that had the fundamental truths of salvation, but also the presence of God during worship, and the fruit of the Spirit. I knew the presence there was the true God, and it struck a deep hidden root inside of me when they would love on Jesus, which brought me to tears. They had a greater power than I had experienced (testimonies of people raised from the dead), and the fruit of being humble (way different than the arrogant pride many in the New Age are blind to being seduced into, like I was). Both of us remained connected to that ministry for a season, and God started having me bump into attendees outside of the service times. A zealous believer of 3 years and Bible study leader realized that I needed time away from the life I was in, and hired me to do handy man work while I was living in Racine. I was getting the Word sown constantly. I had also been seeking the baptism of the Holy Spirit (aside from doctrinal teachings of why, I just wanted the fulness of what it means to know God and truth). The person that had been mentoring me in the false light was still at that time living in a vivid experiential reality coming from the deceiving spirits. At one point, those lying spirits lied to her saying that the New Heaven and New Earth would come without the tribulation. I gently responded something like, "but the Bible says...", which led to an immediate physical attack from these lying spirits on her, to such a point that the neighbors thought she was being harmed and called the police. Christians, please be aware that something or someone can have a spiritual presence, and even seem like as if of the light, and not be of God. Because of the sharp spiritual perception of accuracy this person abided in (hearing, seeing, feeling, knowing, etc), I was afraid to leave. I didn't want to be a fool. I wanted truth, but now was at a crossroads. Both showed accuracy. Both had a power. They both claimed to be the right way, and that if I turned away, I would miss out on something eternally... But only one could be truth. I knew that the God who would reveal Himself at that church was the true God, so I would hide in the bathroom, lift up my hands, and ask God to do whatever it took for me to be in the absolute truth. I had invested so much of my self in those deceptive teachings. I formerly seemed to be on my way to success in the secular music arena, then found that it wasn't fulfilling, so I thought perhaps I could be a spiritual vessel in music media. Then I was as a protege in those false spiritual teachings (psychic, to generalize) believing myself to be on the way to infiltrate major music media with that false message. Then at this moment, I had to decide whether I would start over again, knowing less about God than a 7 year old Sunday school attendee... but I wanted the truth, and wanted the true God. By the grace of God, enough contention happened one day which gave me space to pull away and really examine. This is still a shortened version of my testimony! 

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I finally made a spiritual decision for my self, which I had not done in a long time, and got up and moved back to my family in Waukesha WI (about an hour away). It was there that I made the solid decision that the Bible would be my only written authority on truth. I had also purposed to be completely devoted to God, no matter the cost. By this time, every relationship from the past was mostly cut off, aside from my family. I started searching for churches in hopes to find one that taught sound truth (knowing I'd have to rely on God to lead me), and that were not going to give me a watered down version of following God. In my google searching and in-person searching escapade, I found a church that had a guest speaker speaking on tongues, Pipeline to Jesus. That to me was a good sign that they were open to this sort of thing, so I visited in November of 2008. I also attended other churches that taught me important things, but over the next couple of months, I became consistently rooted there. This would be the ministry that would help me grow in some key things for my calling in Christ, such as: sincerely purposing to follow God all the time; faith for healing and miracles; and the opportunity to lead worship by the Holy Spirit.

 

It seems funny to me now how waiting a month before being a vessel for miracles seemed like a long time for me, but that is also coming from someone that tried to walk on water immediately after receiving prayer to be baptized with the Holy Spirit. Through this surrender to God, the truth of seeking and finding became very real to me, and continues to become more and more experientially real. After surrendering to truth, and coming out of what I came out of, I can write with full assurance that:

- Nothing else has the pure, powerful love of God. When God speaks to you, He is perfect in timing, and in every word, in the perfect balance of grace and truth, love and justice.

- The other stuff can give a feeling that makes you think you are on the right track, but nothing else gives you a simple, powerful, and peaceful knowing that you have the true God.

- Nothing else can fully transform you. It may tell you to be good (or deny that there is such thing as good and bad), but Biblical faith in Christ makes you a new creation where it's in your new nature to do right, and because of God now being your Father and the Holy Spirit abiding with you and in you, you can lay hold of the resources God has given for you to walk in spiritually abundant life of love and a pure conscience.

- Nothing else gives you legitimate authority over darkness. It's otherwise playing with you to keep you in an illusion so that you're kept from the true power.

- Nothing else leaves you feeling content. In Christ, there is godly contentment, and from there, is a holy pursuit from wholeness

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Now being in Christ,

 

I have been blessed to experience many promises of God towards a believer. The redemption of Jesus Christ is for you to literally know God (not just later), and if you will believe that this is for you (and the Holy Spirit is faithful to direct you if you believe otherwise), you will certainly experience this joy. God is the I AM. You cannot exhaust Him. Ask that you may receive!

 

By His grace, He has lifted me out of a life of spiritual death and deception unto a place of true life, knowing Him who is Love!, knowing truth (whether by testimony, "prophecy", or teaching) with sharp discernment that has even saved my life physically at least a few times; I hear Him speak to me every day, and through that sonship also get to help others grow in the knowledge of God and His love; I have been blessed with my heart's desire of the perfect woman for me, Kelry, along with unexplainable joys to my heart, two children. I have been faithfully given needed substance, even while without a "job" (but serving the Lord) without letting it be known there is a need (vehicle, finances, instruments); I have been put on track for the purpose I was made for, which the enemy tried to reallocate to the kingdom of darkness; I am a vessel for the God of miracles, even such as that man has not yet solved how to fix (through prayer and ministering in music); I am free from torment and cast out unclean spirits from others; and I experience the much needed renewing grace of God daily, being transformed by the only true God, the God of mercy and truth; and there's more! It's an amazing love relationship to be saved by Jesus Christ! And it's amazing that I am just an example, amongst many sons and daughters of God, of what His grace can do! These few blatant words are a testimony of what The Same True God can do in your life! He is the Life and Resurrection. Have you surrendered to the author of true life? God is literally here, and literally loves you. He's not as far as you may think. God came in the likeness of sinful flesh to redeem us back unto Him, to live through Him, and know Him NOW as His children.

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I had the privilege to serve in a diversity of ministry outlets in the Greater Milwaukee area from 2009-2017, especially including music ministries and leading a ministry to young adults (18-39). I am now in LA, excited to move forward in revealing Christ in truth in the community and through media. I serve with Dan Sherstad Ministries (an international prophetic ministry), the River's Edge in Rancho Cucamonga, various Romani Gypsy ministries, and the Hollywood Prayer Network. I am ordained with the Fellowship of Christian Assemblies.

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